Look, I'm not going to pretend I have a bunker full of MREs and a ham radio setup that could contact the International Space Station. I'm a novice. But I live in Oklahoma, and out here "clear skies" is just what the atmosphere calls the five minutes before things get interesting.

My go-bag lives in a hard-sided cooler bag under the passenger seat of my truck. Not because coolers are cool (they're not), but because it's waterproof, it doesn't slide around, and my wife stopped asking why there's a flashlight rolling around the floorboard.

The Non-Negotiables

The Chase-Brain Additions

Because I'm me, I also keep a cheap rain poncho, a power bank, and a paper map of the county roads. Yes, paper. When you're northwest of Chickasha and your phone GPS is panicking, a paper map doesn't care about your feelings.

The golden rule I follow: prep for the boring aftermath, not the cinematic funnel. The tornado is 15 minutes. The power being out, the roads being blocked, the "where do we go now" — that's the part that gets you if you only packed for drama.

Check your bag when the seasons change. I do mine every March 1st, because that's when Tornado Alley starts clearing its throat. You'll thank yourself when you're not digging through expired granola bars at 9 PM with hail hitting the windshield.